Bring It! Game On!

I’m sorry all... I need to vent. The last 24 have sucked! The jist of it is this, I backslid on something I have been fighting for an extremely long time. I am considering writing, in a different post, specifics about what this was but for right now I have a different point to make.

I’m tired of getting the crap kicked out of me! I’m tired of getting the crap kicked out of me by an enemy who has already been defeated! I’m tired of weak Christians! This included me!

I’m tired of being Peter fighting and walking on water to Jesus in the middle of a raging storm only to be brought down at the last minute by fear! Or, getting tossed around in the boat and freaking out when my Lord tells me I should have faith, be at peace (no fear), and to rest.

The first thing that came to my mind after I fell was my God is not mocked and what I sow I will reap. As King David did, after the sin of number his people or after his fall with Bathsheba, I took full responsibility,asked for foregivness, begged for mercy, and braced for Gods rage. I think I was different from the King in one point. I think David had peace about God’s punishment. He was able to see it for the correction it was from a loving father. I’m still working on that. I became overwhelmed with condemnation and regret. Fear about the repercussions my decision would have.

Forget all that! Each day is new! I choose to fight!

My plea to you beloved is this... Don’t get bogged down in your sin. Stand up! Fight! You have a Lord, a Savior, a Husband who DIED to bring you life and wash you clean. DON'T EVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED! Rest in the peace you have been given. Fight and resist with the strength and authority you have been given! In this truth is the victory over sin. IN HIM WE ARE REDEEMED AND NEVER DEFEATED!

SATAN I HATE YOU! I hate you for attempting to separate me from my God! I hate you for stealing my family! I hate you for stealing my peace and joy! By His strength and power you have been defeated. Hands off! Hands off my relationship with my God (WHO IS YOUR GOD TOO, SO GET READY TO BOW)! Hands off my wife! Hands of our marriage! Hands off me! We are spoken for! Hands off my future and my ability to be used by God! You want war you got it! BRING IT! I WILL BRUISE MY HEAL ON YOUR HEAD!

Song Lyrics...
When the lights go up and the game is on
Are you ready for me? Cause I'm ready for you
When the bell rings out and the fight is on
Are you ready for me? Cause I'm ready for you

It's time for us to start throwing down
Take a look and see who's standing now

Didn't even know that you and I were cross
Until a sneak attack from the weak side
Unaware that we were in a fight
I guess that's part of the problem, but guess what

Say what you want to say about me
Throw up what you want to throw up at me
But when you mess with those that are around me
That's when you and I will have a problem

I'm not afraid of loving my enemies
Turning the other cheek
Blessing those that would curse me
I honestly want peace with you
But when you come against my country
When you come against my family
You try to destroy my people
I can't just stand by
There's no way that I can stand by
This time, I will not stand by
I am coming, and if I come, then pain is coming with me
I'm coming, and pain will be with me

Christian lyrics - GAME ON LYRICS - DISCIPLE

Disciple - Rise Up

See Yourself as God Sees You by Josh D. McDowell

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is absolutely amazing.

Lindsay McCaul- Come Rest

This is a great new song by Lindsay McCaul. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have tried to win the Lords love. I know I’m not alone in this. I think anyone who is reading this would be hard pressed to say they have never tried to earn love. We do it with God and also the loved ones we surround ourselves with. We think if we just work a little harder we can get them to love us. We exhaust ourselves to the point of death.

Psalm 127:2 (ESV)
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

I have at times been the Martha to my wife’s Mary…

Luke 10:38-42 (KJV)
38Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

39And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.

40But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

42But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

I saw irresponsibility instead of love and submission. Oh how wrong I was.

Are there any others out there who can relate? Have you attempted salvation by works only to come up short? Who is your Mary? Is it possibly time to ask for their forgiveness? Is it time to forgive them… and yourself?

God bless beloveds!




The story behind the song...

Letters to Lynn / Sara Groves - When it was over

I love you and I miss you so much!

listen...
WHEN IT WAS OVER

When It Was Over - Lyrics and Guitar Chords

Artist: Sara Groves

Album: Add To The Beauty

Year: 2005

Intro
F#m D A E


Verse 1
F#m D
When it was over and they could talk about it
A E
She said there's just one thing I have got to know
F#m D
What in that moment when you were running so hard and fast
A E
Made you stop and turn for home
F#m D
He said I always knew you loved me even though I'd broken your heart
A E F#m D
I always knew there'd be a place for me to make a brand new start


Chorus
A E F#m F
Oh love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Love wash over a multitude of things
F#m D E
Make us whole


Verse 2
F#m D
When it was over and they could talk about it
A E
They were sitting on the couch
F#m D
She said what on earth made you stay here
A E
When you finally figured out what I was all about
F#m D
He said I always knew you'd do the right thing
A E
Even though it might take some time
F#m D
She said, Yeah, I felt that and that's probably what saved my life


Chorus
A E F#m F
Oh love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Love wash over a multitude of things
F#m D E
Make us whole


Bridge
A E
There is a love that never fails
F#m D
There is a healing that always prevails
A E
There is a hope that whispers a vow
F#m D
A promise to wait while we're working it out
F#m D E
So come with your love and wash over us


Chorus
A E F#m F
Oh love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Love wash over a multitude of things
A E F#m F
Jesus save us from a multitude of things
F#m D E
Make us whole
F#m D E
Make us whole


Bridge 2
A E
There is a love that never fails
F#m D
There is a healing that always prevails
A E
There is a hope that whispers a vow
F#m D
A promise to wait while we're working it out
F#m D E
A E
There is a hope
F#m D
There is a hope
A
A promise to wait
E
A promise to stay
F#m D E
So come with your love and wash over us


Outro
F#m D A E
When it was over (x4)
We could talk about it

Easter Sunday

Happy Easter Beloveds!

I don't know why, but I am having a bit of a difficult time writing this post. I want to praise God desperately. I especially want to praise Him today of all days. So I am just going to jump in and see what happens. Please bear with me...

I think I'm having a hard time because I'm stuck on death. Let me explain. I'm stuck on the cross and what He did for me there. Easter is about the resurrection. Easter is about the victory over death. The best way I can describe it right now is that I am so in love with Him, because of His pure love for me and what He did on the cross, that I'm having trouble leaving it. I can’t seam to move on to the rejoicing. I know I’m suppose to. I know He wants me to be there eventually, in His and my time. I just cant get there right now. I feel like He’s ok with that, and I know He loves me no matter where I am at.

Today I feel the full weight of my sin. I think about His path to the cross and what His love forced Him to endure for me. I think about the stripes on His back and the flesh that was ripped from His bone. I did that. My choices for death rather than life swung the scourge. He didn’t make a sound. With my sin I spit on Him. I ridiculed Him and called Him names. I made Him carry the Cross when His body had been beaten to the point of being unrecognizable and He could barley stand. Every choice I have made to give into my flesh, selfish pleasure, lust, fear, hate, let anger go to action, etc., I did that. I beat a crown of thorns into His head while the blood ran down His face. I laid Him down, stretched His arms and legs, and drove nails through His wrists and feet.

And after all this, as He clung to life, His only thought was for me.

Luke 23:34 (King James Version)
34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

You see, we are all broken. We are all tainted with generational sin passed down from Adam. This is why we are never to put our faith and trust in man.

Psalm 146:3 (New King James Version)
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help.

No matter how hard we or our loved ones try, we will from time to time, hurt each other. Sometimes the harder we try not to hurt each other the more we do. Instead we are ordered to love and forgive. The only one who is truly 100% worthy of faith and trust is Christ.

Psalm 146:5 (New King James Version)
5 Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,

So the answer is to just not put yourself out there, right? Wrong. We must be and stay vulnerable to the ones we love. No matter what. That is love! Agape love. The giving love. God love.

John 15:12 (King James Version)
12This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

That is our death on the cross. When we take that pain, forgive, and wash them clean, we are in a small way taking up our cross and following the path Jesus has shown us. The beautiful thing is, when we forgive we are forgiven. Our loving Jesus takes the yoke of that sin and pain from us. We are never left holding the bag.

Beloved my prayer for you today is this. May you grasp the full weight of your sin but never hesitate to let the one who loves you wash you clean. May you ponder to the depths of your soul the love Jesus has for you. May you let it fill you up till you are overflowing and can help but spill over on to others around you. May you forgive those who have hurt you the most and not let the shackles of pride keep you from the joy and blessings God has for you.

Jesus... I Love You. I don't know what else to say.

Fearless by Max Lucado

Hi Beloveds-

I have a great book recommendation for you.  Fearless by Max Lucado.  Lucado is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors.  (I know he has published many books and is extremely popular, I just haven't been exposed until recently.)  He is a quick read but still thought provoking. 

This particular book hit home for me.  We all face down the spirit fear in one way or another.  Fearless not only defines these various battlegrounds but also provides tangible options for victory.  Please check it out.  The book is also endorsed by Dave Ramsey.


If you would like to get it here is the link to Amazon....  Fearless by Max Lucado

The table of contents...

1.  Why Are We Afraid?
2.  The Villagers of Stiltsville  (Fear of Not Mattering)
3.  God's Ticked Off at Me  (Fear of Disappointing God)
4.  Woe, Be Gone  (Fear of Running Out)
5.  My Child Is in Danger  (Fear of Not Protecting My Kids)
6.  I'm Sinking Fast  (Fear of Overwhelming Challenges)
7.  There's a Dragon in My Closet  (Fear of Worst-Case Scenarios)
8.  The Brutal Planet  (Fear of Violence)
9.  Make-Believe Money  (Fear of the Coming Winter)
10.  Scared to Death  (Fear of Life's Final Moments)
11.  Caffeinated Life  (Fear of What's Next)
12.  The Shadow of a Doubt  (Fear That God Is Not Real)
13.  What If Things Get Worse?  (Fear of Global Calamity)
14.  The One Healthy Terror  (Fear of God Getting Out of My Box)
15.  Conclusion  (William's Psalm)

Though some of these, at first glance, may seam a little broad they are not.  Each is broken down to a very personal level.

Hope you enjoy it!  Be blessed!

A couple hours ago...

Beloveds….

Please don’t ever ever doubt we have a loving God who wants to communicate with us and be close to us in every opportunity we present Him with. Just a couple of hours ago I was deep in prayer and experienced one such time. I do not want to get deep in the weeds to tell this story, but a little background is needed. The thing that I was in prayer over was predominantly my marriage. For those of you who do not know me personally and are reading this, over the past (depending on how you look at it) 2-3 years I have been in a vicious battle to save my wife and marriage. As a matter of fact we have been separated for a majority of that time. There is so much more to this story that I will most likely at some point share (as part of a testimony), but now is not that time.

One of the things I pray about often in these times of prayer and battle is the ability to know Gods will. In the past there have been two directions God has taken me down as I walk this path.

The first is that of the good Sheppard.

Matthew 18:12 (King James Version)
12How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

Luke 15:4-5 (King James Version)
4What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
5And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

In this path I play the role of “knight in shining armor” for my beloved bride. I battle and chase until I have made everything right and have her back in my arms. I am after all charged with her provision and protection, a desire that God has put in me and equipped me to accomplish.

The second of the paths is that of the prodigal son and his father.

Luke 15:20 (King James Version)
20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
(The full story of the prodigal son is Luke 15:11-32)

In this path I entrust a loving God with the woman and marriage He knows how to love and heal far better than I. I am patient and have no fear because He is in control. I focus on His immense love for her and know that He is with her. I hand both the woman he gifted me with and the marriage He is a part of back to Him with the heart cry of a child saying “Daddy God please fix what we have broken!”.

At many points He has had me down each of these paths. He has patiently worked with me on hearing His voice and being able to distinguish when and which. The harder and more heartfelt the prayer the clearer His voice is. (I am learning to like that He keeps me on my toes. It draws me closer to Him.) It was just such a moment a couple of hours ago. Part of my prayer was asking for clear direction in the moment.

At the very moment I finish my prayer this is the song that came up on my Pandora station… (please listen till the end)



I had never heard the song before though I listen to Christian music stations all the time. Beloveds if you knew the story you would understand this song in so so many ways hits home to what I am experiencing.  As I listened to the lyrics in brought me to tears.  It is our story. As I mentioned, God has had the prodigal son theme on my heart this whole time! He has been leading me to scriptures of faith and strength to support it incessantly. He also still tells me to fight, but it is in a different way. It is in the Spirit. He was lovingly confirming the right path. He gave me an answer out load! He is so good and loving. He will do this for you!

I need to make something clear before I close this post…

Please know that I take full responsibility for the condition of my marriage. Fear and selfishness put me, as the spiritual leader of my family, in a place where I could not hear God’s voice and direction. This fear, selfishness, and muffling of God’s voice made it impossible for me to lead my wife and family. I am responsible for that. Someday I will share more.

Until then, I love you. God loves you more. Peace beloveds.

Word Of God Speak - MercyMe

I love this song. To be in that place of worship. To feel Him so close that you can’t even find words, you just want to take Him in. Feel the comfort and rest that come with being in His arms. Peace, sweet peace. Enjoy.

What I've Overcome by Fireflight