Easter Sunday

Happy Easter Beloveds!

I don't know why, but I am having a bit of a difficult time writing this post. I want to praise God desperately. I especially want to praise Him today of all days. So I am just going to jump in and see what happens. Please bear with me...

I think I'm having a hard time because I'm stuck on death. Let me explain. I'm stuck on the cross and what He did for me there. Easter is about the resurrection. Easter is about the victory over death. The best way I can describe it right now is that I am so in love with Him, because of His pure love for me and what He did on the cross, that I'm having trouble leaving it. I can’t seam to move on to the rejoicing. I know I’m suppose to. I know He wants me to be there eventually, in His and my time. I just cant get there right now. I feel like He’s ok with that, and I know He loves me no matter where I am at.

Today I feel the full weight of my sin. I think about His path to the cross and what His love forced Him to endure for me. I think about the stripes on His back and the flesh that was ripped from His bone. I did that. My choices for death rather than life swung the scourge. He didn’t make a sound. With my sin I spit on Him. I ridiculed Him and called Him names. I made Him carry the Cross when His body had been beaten to the point of being unrecognizable and He could barley stand. Every choice I have made to give into my flesh, selfish pleasure, lust, fear, hate, let anger go to action, etc., I did that. I beat a crown of thorns into His head while the blood ran down His face. I laid Him down, stretched His arms and legs, and drove nails through His wrists and feet.

And after all this, as He clung to life, His only thought was for me.

Luke 23:34 (King James Version)
34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

You see, we are all broken. We are all tainted with generational sin passed down from Adam. This is why we are never to put our faith and trust in man.

Psalm 146:3 (New King James Version)
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help.

No matter how hard we or our loved ones try, we will from time to time, hurt each other. Sometimes the harder we try not to hurt each other the more we do. Instead we are ordered to love and forgive. The only one who is truly 100% worthy of faith and trust is Christ.

Psalm 146:5 (New King James Version)
5 Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,

So the answer is to just not put yourself out there, right? Wrong. We must be and stay vulnerable to the ones we love. No matter what. That is love! Agape love. The giving love. God love.

John 15:12 (King James Version)
12This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

That is our death on the cross. When we take that pain, forgive, and wash them clean, we are in a small way taking up our cross and following the path Jesus has shown us. The beautiful thing is, when we forgive we are forgiven. Our loving Jesus takes the yoke of that sin and pain from us. We are never left holding the bag.

Beloved my prayer for you today is this. May you grasp the full weight of your sin but never hesitate to let the one who loves you wash you clean. May you ponder to the depths of your soul the love Jesus has for you. May you let it fill you up till you are overflowing and can help but spill over on to others around you. May you forgive those who have hurt you the most and not let the shackles of pride keep you from the joy and blessings God has for you.

Jesus... I Love You. I don't know what else to say.

Fearless by Max Lucado

Hi Beloveds-

I have a great book recommendation for you.  Fearless by Max Lucado.  Lucado is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors.  (I know he has published many books and is extremely popular, I just haven't been exposed until recently.)  He is a quick read but still thought provoking. 

This particular book hit home for me.  We all face down the spirit fear in one way or another.  Fearless not only defines these various battlegrounds but also provides tangible options for victory.  Please check it out.  The book is also endorsed by Dave Ramsey.


If you would like to get it here is the link to Amazon....  Fearless by Max Lucado

The table of contents...

1.  Why Are We Afraid?
2.  The Villagers of Stiltsville  (Fear of Not Mattering)
3.  God's Ticked Off at Me  (Fear of Disappointing God)
4.  Woe, Be Gone  (Fear of Running Out)
5.  My Child Is in Danger  (Fear of Not Protecting My Kids)
6.  I'm Sinking Fast  (Fear of Overwhelming Challenges)
7.  There's a Dragon in My Closet  (Fear of Worst-Case Scenarios)
8.  The Brutal Planet  (Fear of Violence)
9.  Make-Believe Money  (Fear of the Coming Winter)
10.  Scared to Death  (Fear of Life's Final Moments)
11.  Caffeinated Life  (Fear of What's Next)
12.  The Shadow of a Doubt  (Fear That God Is Not Real)
13.  What If Things Get Worse?  (Fear of Global Calamity)
14.  The One Healthy Terror  (Fear of God Getting Out of My Box)
15.  Conclusion  (William's Psalm)

Though some of these, at first glance, may seam a little broad they are not.  Each is broken down to a very personal level.

Hope you enjoy it!  Be blessed!

A couple hours ago...

Beloveds….

Please don’t ever ever doubt we have a loving God who wants to communicate with us and be close to us in every opportunity we present Him with. Just a couple of hours ago I was deep in prayer and experienced one such time. I do not want to get deep in the weeds to tell this story, but a little background is needed. The thing that I was in prayer over was predominantly my marriage. For those of you who do not know me personally and are reading this, over the past (depending on how you look at it) 2-3 years I have been in a vicious battle to save my wife and marriage. As a matter of fact we have been separated for a majority of that time. There is so much more to this story that I will most likely at some point share (as part of a testimony), but now is not that time.

One of the things I pray about often in these times of prayer and battle is the ability to know Gods will. In the past there have been two directions God has taken me down as I walk this path.

The first is that of the good Sheppard.

Matthew 18:12 (King James Version)
12How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

Luke 15:4-5 (King James Version)
4What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
5And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

In this path I play the role of “knight in shining armor” for my beloved bride. I battle and chase until I have made everything right and have her back in my arms. I am after all charged with her provision and protection, a desire that God has put in me and equipped me to accomplish.

The second of the paths is that of the prodigal son and his father.

Luke 15:20 (King James Version)
20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
(The full story of the prodigal son is Luke 15:11-32)

In this path I entrust a loving God with the woman and marriage He knows how to love and heal far better than I. I am patient and have no fear because He is in control. I focus on His immense love for her and know that He is with her. I hand both the woman he gifted me with and the marriage He is a part of back to Him with the heart cry of a child saying “Daddy God please fix what we have broken!”.

At many points He has had me down each of these paths. He has patiently worked with me on hearing His voice and being able to distinguish when and which. The harder and more heartfelt the prayer the clearer His voice is. (I am learning to like that He keeps me on my toes. It draws me closer to Him.) It was just such a moment a couple of hours ago. Part of my prayer was asking for clear direction in the moment.

At the very moment I finish my prayer this is the song that came up on my Pandora station… (please listen till the end)



I had never heard the song before though I listen to Christian music stations all the time. Beloveds if you knew the story you would understand this song in so so many ways hits home to what I am experiencing.  As I listened to the lyrics in brought me to tears.  It is our story. As I mentioned, God has had the prodigal son theme on my heart this whole time! He has been leading me to scriptures of faith and strength to support it incessantly. He also still tells me to fight, but it is in a different way. It is in the Spirit. He was lovingly confirming the right path. He gave me an answer out load! He is so good and loving. He will do this for you!

I need to make something clear before I close this post…

Please know that I take full responsibility for the condition of my marriage. Fear and selfishness put me, as the spiritual leader of my family, in a place where I could not hear God’s voice and direction. This fear, selfishness, and muffling of God’s voice made it impossible for me to lead my wife and family. I am responsible for that. Someday I will share more.

Until then, I love you. God loves you more. Peace beloveds.

Word Of God Speak - MercyMe

I love this song. To be in that place of worship. To feel Him so close that you can’t even find words, you just want to take Him in. Feel the comfort and rest that come with being in His arms. Peace, sweet peace. Enjoy.

What I've Overcome by Fireflight