You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord
your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the
children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but
showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My
commandments. (Exodus 20:5-6 NASB)
Hi Beloveds,
I've had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing
generational sin first hand. Truth be told, it's a beast I've battled my entire
life. I know I’m not alone in this. As a matter of fact, I think everyone suffers
the effects of generational sin in some fashion. We all fall short of the glory of Christ,
therefore the generations that follow must deal with the consequences.
For a few reasons, this past Father's day was an extremely
difficult for me. One of those reasons
was the recent passing of my grandfather.
I got a call one afternoon from my parents: "Grandpa's in the
hospital. They don't think he has much time". My paternal grandfather. Over the previous two years, I'd received
this call on a couple other occasions. There was something different about this
time though, so I decided to make the almost five hour drive to go see him.
We'd never been close, my grandfather and I. To be bluntly honest, I harbored a great deal
of hatred for the man. He was an abusive
and hard man who ruled his family by physical beatings, verbal degradation, and
the spirit of fear. We're not talking
about the modern day definition of abuse, a little spank on the bottom. We're talking about tossed down stairs,
smashed into walls, black and blue with broken limbs abuse. And that was just the physical.
I'll never forget a story I was told about my father as a
little boy...
This past week I was asked to serve on the leadership council for a large men's Bible study I attend. I've attended this Bible study for the past 4 1/2 years and love it. The men have had an enormous impact on my life, and I was eager to serve them.
As part of this process, along with a retreat and some other things, I was asked to fill out a two page questionnaire. One of its questions struck me... "How would you describe your relationship with God?"
Simple, right? It really got me thinking though.
Here's the best description I can come up with right now...
24 Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob’s thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.” But he said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 He said, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed.” 29 Then Jacob asked him and said, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” 31 Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh. 32 Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s thigh in the sinew of the hip. ~Genesis 32:24-32
You see, I've been in a season of growth and transition for quite some time now. At times, the journey's been an extremely painful one.
It may shock you to hear this, but that's actually the answer to a prayer.
At the beginning of this season, I asked God to work in me... "No matter what you have to do to me... No matter what you have to allow happen... I don't care how hard it is or how long it takes, God. I want this to be real! I want to serve You. I want to serve and love like You. And the only way I can do that is by being as close to You as possible." I mentioned once in "The Tale of Two Songs", I can remember listening to Matthew West's "The Motions" and just asking Him to break me.
I had no idea how painful Matthew 10:39, Matthew 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, Luke 17:33, and John 12:25 could be. There's a reason it's in there so many times! :)
And, therein lies how I can say my relationship with God is like that He shared with Jacob at Peniel.
I comprehend very little of why God has done things or allowed things to happen the way they have in my life. I struggle with how much of it I could have truly impacted. I question how my sins and the sins of others played into it and the level of their permanency. But, I've made a decision to trust in Him and His word. I know who He is. I believe wholeheartedly in His promises. Though I don't understand... Though I may stumble.. I'm not going to let go until I walk in Him and my intended blessing. I don't care how much it hurts. I'll walk with a limp the rest of my life if I have to, I'm not letting go.
On my way home from work tonight I was thinking about how easy it is to feel unequipped for the tasks God has called us to do. So often we focus on what we can and can't do rather than what God can and wants to do through us. We look at the failures of our past and doubt. We doubt our abilities and even our calling. This is especially the case when He asks us to preach, teach, or lead in an area we've failed.
We ask... "God how can you really be asking me to do this? Can't you see all the times I've failed? Not just failed, but failed epically! They'll call me a hypocrite. It'll never work."
One of my favorite TV shows of all time is Aaron Sorkin's "The West Wing". And as I was pondering all this, I remembered a scene from the series that brought a huge smile to my face...
The Bible is full of "small and illequiped" men and women God uses to acomplish great things. Many of whom suffered tremendous failures while fulfilling their callings. Why?
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:8-9 ESV)
You see, God uses the weak and unlikely to accomplish great things as a means of glorifying Himself. When it's all said and done, there can be no doubt it was Him and not the vessel He chose to use.
Seriously, don't let the irony of the above verse, and who penned it, be lost on you. It was written by Paul. The same man who viciously crucified Christians before becoming a cornerstone of the church and scribing a majority of the New Testament.
He's just one of many, and our God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11). Is there any doubt He will do the same for you and I if we let Him?
He can take your greatest sin and turn it into His greatest victory! Are you willing to give it to Him? I am!
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 ESV)
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26 ESV)
This is His redemption! This is how He restores 100 fold that which the devil has taken and destroyed (John10:10, Joel 2:25-26)!
Please remember this process requires faith and submission...
Trust
in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make
straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)
If you revel in your sin and refuse Him, He will not force Himself on you. (True love never does.)
I'm not saying you have to be perfect. His grace and mercy abound. (Romans 5:19-21) But we're not to stay there. (Romans 6:1-2). He wants you healed and redeemed! He wants others to look at you and be jealous for His love!
For me, I know my sins are not the end of my story. They are the begging of my ministry. A ministry that, by the power of God, will shake heaven and earth!
I tend to be a big fan of Tim Challies. He authored a post today titled "Jesus Never Moves On". I wanted to re-post a link to it here, because I think it's that spot on.
Truth be told, I have many of the same thoughts written in drafts of my own. There's only one point I might add. Our bridegroom loves us so much, that He will also never force Himself on us.
Please take time to watch this video all the way through... thoughts after...
My church's drama team does a version of this that brings tears to my eyes every time I see it. A video has an impact for sure, but there's something about seeing it live.
I've written incessantly about free will. How a loving God will never force Himself on us, even if that means loosing us to our decisions. To me, that relationship looks a lot like this video. Him standing by our side, waiting for us to choose Him despite worldly temptations and trials. Holding Himself back out of love. (I hope that makes sense as I don't have more time to explain. If not, just read some of my other posts. My last post. The post titled "Scars", etc.)
This is true love. A love that draws us to Him. A love offered with no expectations and great risk. Agape love. Death on a cross, to wash us clean and bring us back to Him.
"The people who hanged Christ never, to do them justice, accused Him of being a bore; on the contrary, they thought Him too dynamic to be safe. It has been left for later generations to muffle up that shattering personality and surround Him with an atmosphere of tedium. We have very efficiently pared the claws of the Lion of Judah, certified Him “meek and mild,” and recommended Him as a fitting household pet for pale curates and pious old ladies."
~ Dorothy Sayers
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
~ C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Beloveds...
These are two of my favorite quotes. The first, by Dorthy Sayers, is self-explanatory. The second, if you're not familiar, is a description of Aslan, C.S. Lewis's representation of Christ in his popular Chronicles of Narnia series.
Both describe Christ as "unsafe", and I wholeheartedly agree.
We've painted ourselves a "picture perfect Jesus". Warm, fuzzy, and always gentle. It's preached from the pulpit. A Jesus who is only about forgiveness. Our "Jesus" would never do anything abrasive... Always turn the other cheek.
But, The Bible depicts a very different Savior. (Matthew 23:13-36) (Matthew 15:7, 13, 16) (Matthew 21:12) These are just a few from Matthew. Verses like this can be found throughout the Bible!
Don't get me wrong, we serve a loving God and Savior. This includes,
but is not limited to, everything in 1Corinthians 13.
We must consider the whole picture though....
Partial acceptance of the true and biblical Jesus has caused staggering damage in modern society. It's lead to the emasculation of men and the destruction of families. (If you're looking for a good book on the subject, check out "No More Christian Nice Guy" by Paul Coughlin.)
The same God who loves us so much He would sacrifice His only begotten Son to have us by His side for eternity, is also a God of judgment.
26 For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge His people.” 31 It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God. ~ (Hebrews 10:26-31)
Ask Noah, Moses, Pharaoh, Job, or the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah what happens when the Lord rages. Ask the merchants running change tables outside the temple, the apostles, or Pharisees about "gentle Jesus".
He is not safe!
But, as Mr. Beaver is quick to point out, He IS good. He is just, infinitely patient, and quick to forgive.
A God of both love and power!
Can you be ok with that? Can you get to a place where, like David or Job, where you say... God is God? Will you say, no matter what He chooses to do with me, I will submit? Can you say it as He corrects you? Can you find His love in that correction? Can you say it through trials not brought on by any action of your own?
To be in love with a God that powerful is not safe. It was never meant to be. That's why faith is needed.
Think of it this way...
He gives us free will. He lets us choose life of death. Blessing or cursing. Because the only way He can truly be in a relationship with us is by giving us that choice. Anything less, and we are just pawns. Automatons to be played with. He wanted a fulfilling relationship. He wanted, dare I say it, a lover.
Read Song of Solomon!
Not safe! But, when you feel His love surround you and rush through you, you quickly understand He is both worthy and trustworthy.
We sang this song in praise and worship on Sunday. Actually, we even did this version which includes the extended verses.
It hit me pretty hard.
We all have those moments when we wonder where God is. Those moments we scream to the top of our lungs, "God,Why?!".
Our suffering is our world, and it's all we can see.
The truth is, this thing was never about us. The life we live and its daily experiences were never ours to begin with. It's always been all about Him.
Our purpose, to worship and glorify Him.
The times in our life when we face trials, they offer an opportunity to exercise faith. Can you believe, without seeing, that all things work for the good of those who love Him? Even those things we believe might kill us inside? The faith to believe a gracious and loving God would let them happen?
One of my favorite lines...
"I need to know that you're still holding the whole world in your hands, and that is a reason to sing."
God, I not only need you to show me that You're still in control, but I need you to show me You're good, because right now I'm having a hard time seeing it.
Now I have no idea if that's the way the author intended it to be interpreted, but I think it's a real interpretation every christian faces. And I think God's OK with that. I also think He'll answer. He answers with a grace and mercy so powerful we hit our knees. Unmerited favor, at the perfect moment, which can only be from Him. Right in the middle of our struggle and doubt we're overwhelmed by love.
“From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force. ~Matthew 11:12
I must say, there aren't many Bible verses that confuse me. Usually I can read the entire chapter, look through a few different translations, read a concordance for the Hebrew/Greek, check with the Holy Spirit, and feel pretty darn comfortable. With that being said, even after aforementioned due diligence, I continued to struggle with this one.
Is this verse saying the kingdom of heaven is under attack? Why "from the days of John"? Who are the "violent men"? Are they evil? Are we being called to defend the Word against those who would manipulate it? Are we the ones who, through our decision to accept Christ, violently take hold of salvation?
Be strong beloveds. He is with you! Love this song!
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. ~1 Corinthians 10:13(KJV)
Seek and you will find, they saybut I've been looking everydayfor a way past this wall that's in front of my face.I'm on hands and knees searching for my faith. I know there's so much at stakebut I don't know if I can take one more pat on the back saying I'll be okay.Can't you see me whole life is in disarray? You've got me desperate. I know You hear me,Would You give me a sign?Reel me in before I've fall out of line.You've put me on a path I don't understandI'm standing on a ledge waving my hands. You've got me desperate (do You see me?)Desperate (do You hear me?)Desperate (will You help me?)You've got me desperate. I know You're my only hopeThe only One who truly knows how it feels, what it's like when it all starts to fallYou're the One I can trust who hears when I call. You've got me desperate. I know You hear me,Would You give me a sign?Reel me in before I've fall out of line.You've put me on a path I don't understandI'm standing on a ledge waving my hands. You've got me desperate (do You see me?)Desperate (do You hear me?)Desperate (will You help me?)You've got me desperate. Some things I'll never figure outUntil I let hope erase my doubt. You've got me desperate. I know You hear me,Would You give me a sign?Reel me in before I've fall out of line.You've put me on a path I don't understand,I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands. You've got me desperate (do You see me?)Desperate (do You hear me?)Desperate (will You help me?)You've got me desperate. You've got me desperate. (Oh do You see me?)Desperate (do You hear me?)Desperate (will You help me?)You've got me desperate!
